the value of a day’s work…

Today I spent almost 16 hours at the ICT. The aggregate of todays accomplishments are as follows:
Fixed another pcv’s computer over the phone
Downloaded some utilities for the manyara pc labs I hope to setup later this month
Made copies of some forms for pc
Set up 12 courses on moodle

For spending more than half the entire day at the office, that seems like an incredibly unproductive day. And yet as days generally, and Tuesdays particularly, go today was, by Tz standards, extremely fruitful.

I think this reflects upon one of the biggest personal challenges I have with my site placement. I, like most wazungu, value accomplishments. We, consciously or not, judge others on what they can do, what they have done, and what we think they will do. We, and especially my generation, are people of action, growing up bombarded with slogans such as nike’s “just do it,” (can you think of any others?its my bedtime as I write this and my brains fried from other things) and so I guess its only natural, that as products of our environment we tend to be more restless, impatient, in more of a hurry, etc than our predecessors and others around the world. That’s all good and well in the fast paced style of life in America (indeed, the more efficiently one can crank out widgets, the more likely one can receive some sort of reward…pavlov anyone?), but over here in Tz it doesn’t seem to hold true. Here, its cultivating interpersonal relations rather than getting things done…

If anything, it becomes extremely stressful sometimes for me simply because I’m constrained by my environment from being as productive as I would like. I think this culture clash is likely to be at the root of my current funk and the reason why I am dissatisfied with my placement: my sense of self worth is tied to the number of widgets I can produce with my skill set, and right now I am producing nowhere near that amount. Thus I feel constantly restless, undervalued by my institution and myself, and other similar thoughts.

Well, now that I know what the problem is, I can start thinking of proactive and culturally appropriate solutions. But more on this later, I’m going to bed. Usiku mwema!